I feel like I have lost all my motivation and ambition in the past few months. In the summer I was so excited at the prospect of starting school and had all these projects on the go and future ideas brewing.
Lately, I’ve lost it all. I have no motivation, no ambition and no idea what I want to do with myself.
When I worked at my previous job I literally did nothing all day. No matter how many times I told my boss I needed more work, I still sat around twiddling my thumbs, daydreaming and listening to podcasts. I think that’s a big difference in my life.
Since getting my new job; I’m busy all day, I have friends to go to lunch with and it is actually mentally challenging. It’s taken me very far off from where I was daydreaming all day. I no longer have time to daydream or plan for what I want to do next. And, I really like my job.
Also, the classes I am taking are not what I expected. I’m not learning things that I am passionate about and I find all the teachers a little too odd for me. I just can’t get into the classes when they all seem like strange people that I cannot relate to.
I also feel like it’s difficult to continue on with the passion and excitement when you are met with so much hostility and skepticism. I keep my nutrition education pretty well under wraps at work but my colleagues do know I am a vegan so we talk about food from time to time. However, most people don’t see food in the exciting, healing way that I do. And they definitely don’t see my lifestyle the way I do.
I can’t be passionate about something when there is so much negativity coming my way from the people around me. And other people that I talk to feel they need to be ashamed of what they eat like I am going to judge them or reprimand them. It makes for a very crappy relationship.
I personally chose to remove gluten, dairy, eggs and meat from my diet for environmental purposes but also for the health aspect. Sure it sounds like a crazy idea, but when you find some good recipes it really isn’t difficult to do at all.
Today I had a conversation with a colleague who is sugar free and gluten free. She was talking to me about how much better she feels without them in her life. Her gut is better, she feels happier and doesn’t have issues after she eats. She also told me that her boyfriend has arthritis and after he went sugar free he stopped feeling as much pain in his joints. Once they went gluten free all of his arthritis pain was gone! This conversation was so exhilarating for me. These are the types of stories I love to hear because these aren’t issues that affect one person, they are universal and can help all of us. Talking to someone who understands the power of food and health is such a breath of fresh air. I stop feeling so heavy and negative.
I’m also over hearing any jokes about my dietary choices or the “oh… you can’t have this”. The longer I am a vegan the more confused I am that there aren’t alternative choices at the places I visit. I went out for lunch today and had the option of paying $10 for a salad – which is ridiculous – or nothing. Their vegetable soup was made with broth that isn’t gluten free (why do we need wheat in broth?), and the only options they had for their lattes were cow’s milk or soy milk. I’m still baffled as to why companies still only offer soy milk as their dairy alternative. Soy is awful and as harmful as dairy and causes as many issues to people as dairy does. So, after I finished asking all my questions I asked for a cup of water. Awesome.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my lack of motivation and my lack of ambition. I feel like I’m done talking about nutrition to people. I don’t want to preach it. I don’t want to force it on anyone. And I don’t want to keep beating the subject to death.
However, the light at the end of the tunnel for me is the idea of one day opening my own practice and knowing that my clients want to change. They are looking for something better. A positive change. They are willing and open minded. I won’t be going to them to provide the information, they will come to me. I have so many amazing ideas to help people along their journey to better health and happiness (like my vegan challenge full of amazing recipes) and I want to devote all my time and energy to helping people be happier with themselves.
It’s just so unfortunate that there are so many people out there who would rather be negative and bring you down. I can’t wait for the future where I can talk to people about life changes that they want to hear. People who are active to make positive changes. Positivity brings positivity.
I also can’t wait for those closest to me to start being more open minded and willing to listen to me and allow me to help make changes to feel better. Everyone moves at their own pace, which is perfectly fine and normal. It took me over a year to get to where I am now. It doesn’t happen over night but slow and steady wins the race.
I am eternally grateful for all the people that I do not know who are reading this, or have shared my 7 Day Vegan Challenge. I put countless hours in to creating this to help make it easier to try to live a healthier, less harmful life. I am forever grateful to my dear friends who have shared the document with their friends and colleagues. It shows just how powerful good friends are. You have allowed my passion and hard work to reach further than I could ever do on my own. And I have had so many positive reviews from everyone about it that I am ecstatic that I can make a difference in people’s lives.
The future is uncertain, but I am still excited at the prospect of what it will bring.