I always think about how we meet so many people in our lives for only an instant, never to see them again, and the impact we may have had on them in that moment. Like to walk past someone and to smile at them, meanwhile they felt sad or alone and that smile you shared really affected them. A simple, fleeting moment to you plays such a valuable role to the recipient. Or when someone just needs to talk, and instead of continuing on with our rushed day, take a moment to stop and listen. We are so concerned with our fast paced lives that we don’t stop to listen, or to think about what is going on around us. But in one single moment, if we stop to listen, or to give ourselves to others, to serve others, we run the chance of finding something that we didn’t know could exist.
To find a connection with someone is so powerful. You don’t need a why, or a how come. Just to feel it is to know that it’s right. To connect with someone doesn’t mean you have to have the same interests, or to have the same hobbies. But that feeling and understanding that you have their back. And that you would do anything for them, regardless of how long you’ve known them for. Sometimes, spiritually and emotionally, you find a deeper connection than all these fake smiles and ‘how are you’s that get thrown at you as you walk by. To understand them as a person, and to care is what living is all about. I’ve never understood how people can just go about their lives making shallow relationships, fleeting relationships. The moment you’ve stepped out of view, they have forgotten you.
I’ve never been like that. Regardless of the connection I feel with someone, I rarely forget them. I never forget a face, and I work hard to never forget a name. Each person on this planet has a worth, and a value to provide. We are all here to make a difference and to offer something that is unique, that cannot be replicated.
The problem with feeling like this, is that the majority of the world doesn’t think the same. When a person comes and goes from my life, it’s one of the greatest tragedies for me. Even if I travel, as soon as I leave the place I was visiting, I feel a loss in my heart. Because I may never get to experience that moment again, to cherish my surroundings. It can be difficult to live like this. Because to me, leaving somewhere, or losing someone, affects my heart and my mind strongly. To think that I will never get to see them, hug them, or share a laugh is so saddening. For every loved one that I have lost, I think about this. I just want one more moment to be in their company, and to truly cherish every second. For all the friends that have come and gone from my life. For all my friends from back home, it breaks my heart to watch you continue to live your lives and I don’t get to share with you. I now become another person who gets to watch you grow through social media, because it becomes so difficult to keep up over long distances. No matter how hard I try, it is so difficult.
I truly believe that I will hold all my current and past friendships in my heart. But at the same time, I feel a true sadness that not everyone feels the same way. I feel such pain to lose a friend, knowing that they likely will forget me. I become a fleeting memory, just a story about “one time me and so and so did this”. Over the past few years seeing how people treat one another, I feel such despair and that we have all given up on each other. We’ve all become so selfish. I think this is a contributing factor to why I feel that I am just a fleeting memory. However, perhaps it’s my self worth.. perhaps I don’t value myself the way that I should. I don’t think people realize how big of an impact they make on my life, and yet I feel like I have zero impact on theirs. Maybe for a day or two, but in the grand scheme of things, I’m not so sure. Which is why I have such a hard time letting go of people. All of my best friends from the past. I think about them so often. I want to reconnect with them so badly, because my life would never be the same without them. These strong current connections, and past best friends have changed my life for the better, and I wish I could still enjoy every moment I can with them. And it scares me to think that when they leave, I will be left with this void in my heart, and they will continue on their life path as if I was just another story to tell. And they can tell me all they want that it isn’t true, but I’m not sure I believe that. Every person that walks in to my life changes me for the better. Even if they are an awful person, it teaches me that I should never be that way to the next person I meet.
But very few people these days let their friends or family know just how special they are. When was the last time you stopped to tell your friends or your family how much they mean to you. Or how much you appreciate them for always being there for you. I really try to let the people I care the most about know that I care for them. But the way that we all are these days, I think it generally comes off too strong. Or it confuses people, or makes them uncomfortable. I think it’s time to change that though. Imagine how strong our relationships could truly be if we took the time to communicate and appreciate.
This world needs a lot more love in it right now.